“We used to be so close” I wonder how many times we have used that phrase?
Even now I still use the old age adage – ” I wonder how we drifted apart”.
Usually when we use that “and we used to be so close” phrase – it is usually followed by a long and rambling excuse as to what actually happened in your view to make the relationship collapse even disappear.
sometimes the problem is simply two people friends/relatives just drifting apart – my friend and I are like that – just didn’t keep up the conversation and before you know it – years have passed and the tie between you slowly disintegrates and becomes untenable. Sad but OH so true.
More often though the problem goes deeper much deeper. The problem between two people often can be traced back to a specific incident. Something that drove a wedge between their relationship and so often very sadly the wedge is driven between family members.
Once the wedge is driven, pride can set in, unforgiveness and anger take up residence. Feelings once offended can become a festering sore; never healing and never being forgiven.
Often both parties sit back and “wait for the other one” to apologise and move toward a reconciliation.
Sadly one party may never want to forgive and that is when the rot sets in – one of them may try and try again for reconciliation but to no avail.
The unforgiving party may not realise that are trapped – trapped by their own hard and unyielding heart – they can be actually oblivious to their plight because they are totally 100% focused on their hurt either real or perceived.
It’s through these horrible and testing times that Jesus has the answer. The Bible clearly States that being hurt and being offended is pretty well impossible to avoid (Luke 1:17) it is how we, through the Holy Spirit, handle the ‘impossible’ that will set us right not only with others but with God Himself.
Jesus didn’t die so that our relationships would be tron apart by pride, hardness of heart and an unforgiving spirit.
Satan on the other hand hopes we will take the ‘hurt’ feelings and make them our own – that way he has this great foothold to rule in our lives and make us his. Being unforgiving and hard hearted will only play right into his hands and we stop looking to Christ, who is the author and finisher of our faith not just some ideology that makes us feel ‘good’ when the chips are down.
If by any chance Satan had the ability to destroy us he would have done so long before this – his power is broken – he has lost the war. The only thing he can do now is try to get as many people as possible to follow him before Christ comes again and finally puts the finishing nail into his coffin and send him and his followers to that awful/special place designed for them.
So what do we do? – It is so easy to love those who do you no wrong – that’s sort of like a fluffy “you are so sweet ” sort of love – flitting along on the surface. To love someone who really hates you and you have been the victim of their unforgiveness, that’s when the rubber hits the road.
How do you cope? Jesus was the epitome of being a victim of unforgiveness – He didn’t flinch – He gave His all to God – what a great example!
If we ask Him, He will give us the strength, wisdom and patience to share his love as much as possible even with those who openly and often refuse to have anything to do with us.
Back in October I wrote a blog http://itsbygracealone.blogspot.com.au/2013/10/what-did-you-do-princess-atta-quote.html – which describes how I personally had to deal with a similar situation and how God has worked in my life since.
How are you at forgiving? Have you been hurt and feel you can’t possibly forgive? Do you feel some sort of invisible line has been crossed making forgiveness impossible? Are you waiting for the other person to come around first? Are you waiting for them to ‘make the first move’?
Jesus says clearly through His word that we “MUST forgive others” not ‘if we feel like it to make us feel better”. Forgiveness is essential if we walk with Christ.
So if you are affected by the “We used to be so close” syndrome – God is telling you to do something about it before it is too late. Even if you are not to blame – you MUST try to put things right.
You never know – your act of forgiving could change the whole scenario and restore broken lives and set prisoners free.
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