Lyn Leahz ©2012

Sadness and loneliness weighed heavy on my heart that evening a few years ago as I sat on the edge of my bed talking with the Father about some things that were on my mind. It was then that one of the most profound realizations I have ever had hit me.

You see, all of my life I had grown up in Church and was heavily exposed to Christianity. I’d heard the Bible, chapter and verse, quoted relentlessly, over and over again. I had always loved what I knew about the Lord; but was I in love with Him?

Although I had asked the Lord into my heart as my personal Savior, I did not really know Him the way you know someone in your life you are personally and intimately involved with.

Ashamedly, I had to admit it. Why should I be embarrassed or hesitant? God already knew this; but for some reason, it was a hard thing to say aloud, especially to God! What if you had to go to your spouse one day and say, “Honey, I’ve been with you for many years now, but I just realized today that all of these years, I’ve loved everything ‘about’ you; but I’m not really in love with you!” They would be crushed, and you would be crushed to have to say such a thing.

As it was, I said, “Father, you already know this,” I sighed, “but I have to tell you. I have to be up front in our relationship. This is so hard for me, but I don’t think I’m in love with you. Oh, you’re the greatest and I admire you, and I thought I loved you, but I only love what I know about you. I know all about you Lord, but I do not personally know you.”

A tear escaped my eye as quickly I glanced down, assuming I could somehow hide my face from God’s view. I stared at my feet, noticing how quiet it was, expecting some loud thunderous roar from the heavens, or lightening to strike before me.

I continued on. “Father, I need a favor. I need you to teach me to fall in love with you. It’s hard for me because, well, as a human, I associate love with touching, feeling, being touched, seeing, sharing, voice inflection, tone, spending time together, and all of those physical things that I’m not sure how to have with you.

“So Lord, I’m really going to need you to work hard in me to show me how to have these things, or, how to NOT have them, yet to learn regardless how to fall in love.”

And then it hit me; maybe lightening did indeed strike after all! My walk with the Lord had been so hard throughout my life because I had loved what I knew, but was not in love. If I were married to a man I wasn’t in love with, how hard would it be to please him? My heart wouldn’t be in it, and I would fail horribly.

The Love of God Is Ever Before You!

Do you remember those times? God does. Let me ask you this. Have you ever been this way with God? I hadn’t. And this was exactly what I wanted Him to teach me. I wanted to share this type of praise, honor, glory, and devotion with Him! I mean, how can I stand before Him some day and discuss with Him all of these different relationships where I did these things knowing He will look at me and say, “Lyn, how come you never did this for me? You put these people above me as your god because you were literally worshiping and serving them, but not me!”?

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