Servant Leadership Of The Husband

Did you know that God held Adam responsible for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden? That’s because Adam did not lead and maintain his home as a servant leader.
If you are a husband or father, do you think that you are the dictator of your home? If so, then you have a lot to learn.
When a dispute erupted among the disciples about who was the greatest, Jesus said, “But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves. (Luke 22:26-27). Jesus then demonstrated His leadership by washing His disciples’ feet (see John 13:11-17).
A leader serves. Your wife is not there to serve you. You are there to serve her. Ephesians 5:21-23 says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the savior of the body.”
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10 replies

  1. Without Christ (a.k.a. The Second Adam) as having been the ultimate and most perfect example of servant-leadership, how could Adam have known how to do it correctly? Perhaps the idea that Adam has Servant Leadership over Eve is flawed, a terrible misreading scripture out of it’s context; but it’s to be expected when one group of believers give themselves permission to rule over another group of believers on basis of gender alone.

    • I’m going to say that Adam and Eve walked with God Himself – therefore it is likely they each knew what the expectations were of each of them. Maybe I’m wrong…
      As to misinterpretation, I think not. It is not about one gender ruling over another as you said. The husband does lead, that is right out of Scripture. That leadership however does not make his wife a slave to him or his every whim. I believe this article made that point clear, the man is to serve his wife, and love her as Christ loved and gave Himself for His Church. You and many others misinterpret this to be the man ruling over the woman. That is not what is meant here.

      • I was thinking on that one – why does the husband lead? One blogger told me it was because men were less emotional than women, in which case, unemotional women would be just as good as leaders. Another said because we have to strive for the original design, which sounds unimaginative of God that he couldn’t foresee that one day society would no longer need one person having authority over another on the basis of being first or what have you. I was thinking about another factor: economic prosperity. In a culture where those who make the money make the rules, and those who make the money are men who make the rule that only men can make money, it would necessarily create the rule that only men are leaders who make rules because they make the money. In such a culture, women wouldn’t stand a chance and would have to be “ruled over’ and “provided for” and “protected by” said men. Which is – of course, what the Bible teaches. Men protect women from other men, men rule over women as leaders in a man’s world, and men provide for women in a society where women had little to no options for providing for themselves. We are not that society, so surely, the rules would be different, would it not?

        • No the rules are NOT different. God laid all things out the way He wants them to be. To say otherwise is to imply that God made a mistake. You are also forgetting that this relationship between a man and woman has little to do with money, or it should not by biblical teaching. There is nothing against the woman making the bucks and the man staying home with the kids. Or maybe they both work.
          As far as “rules” go – the wise man depends on the counsel of his wife. The man leads yes, but that does not mean that the woman has no say. Refer to Proverbs 31 here. This is not about economics, “who” makes the money etc – that is a worldly view, not a biblical one.
          The Bible does not ride shotgun and give orders for every move in the marriage. The woman is to respect her husband and allow him to lead. The man is to love and serve his wife in the same way Christ loved and served the Church. It seems many miss that point. If the man does his “job” right, what woman would complain? After all, the man who truly loves his wife is not going to do things that hurt her. Refer back to the husband treating his wife as Christ did the Church, pretty tall order.
          So – NO “that” is not what the Bible teaches.
          Christ is God, and Christ did lead while here, and yet He SERVED! Are you understanding what I’m saying here? Christ was in charge of the disciples, He was the Master, He taught them – He washed their feet! At the same time He served them. Jesus went around healing the sick, teaching those who would listen. Endured horrible abuse and then died for us. Servant? YES. Jesus plainly said those who would lead, need to serve, and He did so Himself.
          It’s not about the conditions of the world today. It’s about faithfully following the teaching of Jesus regardless of the time or place we live in. We do not fit the teachings of the Bible into the world we live in – we fit the world we live in into the teachings of the Bible.

          • Jesus and the disciples existed in the rabbi and talmidim system, system of education. Or that of a teacher and students:
            When understood in it’s cultural context, it cannot be used to speak to the role of husband and wife as the disciples were expected to become teachers with disciples of their own. Christians don’t follow this example of discipleship because they don’t want every disciple becoming teachers. But since we don’t life in the times of Jesus, we cannot faithfully follow the teachings of Jesus and live them as he lived them.
            It seems no matter which way you slice it, people try to equate husbands with Christ, the problem is that husbands are not Christ. No matter how Christlike you tell them to aim to be, they will always fall short. Some shouldn’t even be allowed headship as they would abuse their authority even though the Bible says not to.
            Why, I remember the story of a Christian man who married a pastor’s daughter. The pastor came over for a visit one day to discover that his daughter had been stabbed by her husband. He saved his daughter’s life and then advised her to get a divorce. His daughter’s safety was more important than her marital status. This pastor was the guy that taught servant-leadership / a.k.a. male headship but when he realized what this guy had done and how he was not being Christlike, he realized it was a mistake to force the relationship and to let things deteriorate. He feared that if the guy would stab his own wife, then the next outcome would be to take her life if given the chance. He wisely opted not to give the guy a chance.

          • Husbands are not supposed to be Christ, they are to emulate Him. It seems no matter what I say, you take it out of context or come up with excuses as to why what the Bible teaches cannot or will not work. That is on you – not me. The teachings of the Bible are timeless and can be followed, the real problem is many choose not to follow them.
            No one ever said a person need remain in an abusive relationship especially when one person is in danger. Stop making excuses.If you choose to take what others or society says as truth over what the Bible says – well that is foolish, but I cannot convince you – only God can.
            I don’t want to insult you – but people who have the mindset (in general) that you seem to, well that is why we have ordained ministers in various churches that are homosexual and other unsavory things. The mindset is – don’t like what the Bible teaches, find a way to justify your opinion as being right over the words of the Bible and then implement the corresponding action.
            Regardless of what I say, you have an argument, and your arguments are worldly, based on the insights the world gives, not what the Word of God says. When you disallow what the Bible teaches – you are arguing against what God Himself set forth and taught, what we are expected to do in our lives as the children of God. You are basically telling the Lord God Almighty that you are right, and He is wrong

          • If everything in the Bible is timeless, then as a society, we have to bring back slavery to be as Biblical as possible. If we can let go of God-ordained institutions like slavery, then perhaps we should question what we have come to believe about marriage given that it’s not given the same attention or degree of instruction that slavery was.

          • That is foolish – I’m done.

  2. This conversation is a few years old, but here goes it:
    Greg, your frustration is disappointing. You should always take the opportunity to explain and discuss rather than giving into your emotions. It seems as though you’re happy to have the conversations until it becomes difficult. I think Jamie is presenting legitimate questions and searching for truth.

    • Hi Sherri, you are of course entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. Maybe you need to reread what I said to Jamie??? I spent much time “explaining” to him. When one reaches a point that every single thing one says is argued, every point is denied, it’s time to stop explaining and just let it go. I have been doing this for a long time now, and have seen this type of person many times. He likes to argue, period. There is no point in continuing to speak with such a person as every thing that you say will be argued with. Someone who is truly seeking truth is going to at the very least acknowledge some of what the other person says as valid, instead, Jamie argued everything I said. His last comment, well that was just plain asinine.

      You read one set of comments, and assume you know how I think and how I interact with others at all times?

Luke 21:36 "Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man."

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